Your Mamma Jokes

Your Mama So Fat

  • Your mama so fat she has more crack then Harlem!
  • Your mama so fat when she opens the Fridge it says – “I give up…”
  • Your mama so fat she got a new gig at the Cinema…she works as the screen.
  • Your mama so fat she once told me ‘I could eat a horse’…believe me, she wasn’t kidding!
  • Your mama so fat when she sits around the house, she sits around the house!
  • Your mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
  • Your mama so fat she deep fries her toothpaste.
  • Your mama so fat she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy.
  • Your mama so fat she makes Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie.
  • Your mama so fat NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer.
  • Your mama so fat she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm…
  • Your mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
  • Your mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
  • Your mama so fat small objects orbit her.
  • Your mama so fat she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
  • Your mama so fat when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.
  • Your mama so fat she’s got her own area code!
  • Your mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!
  • Your mama so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit.
  • Your mama so fat she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her…behind Mount Everest.
  • Your mama so fat when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol.
  • Your mama so fat she could be the eighth continent.
  • Your mama so fat she nearly put Safeway out of business.
  • Your mama so fat stunt agencies use her as an air mattress.
  • Your mama so fat the only thing that’s attracted to her is gravity.
  • Your mama so fat when she step on the Weight Scales it says…”to be continued…”
  • Your mama so fat she once went on a seafood diet…whenever she saw food she ate it!
  • Your mama so fat folk exercise by jogging around her!
  • Your mama so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
  • Your mama so fat she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
  • Your mama so fat the circus use her as a trampoline.
  • Your mama so her Uni graduation photo was an aerial.
  • Your mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
  • Your mama so fat when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.
  • Your mama so fat she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
  • Your mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”.
  • Your mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
  • Your mama so fat her fave food is seconds.
  • Your mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
  • Your mama so fat her belt size is Equator.
  • Your mama so fat she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid.
  • Your mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
  • Your mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”.
  • Your mama so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, “Land Ahoy!!!”.
  • Your mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
  • Your mama so fat she wears an ‘X’ jacket and Copters attempt to land on her.
  • Your mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
  • Your mama so fat she shows up on radar.
  • Your mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
  • Your mama so fat she needs a map to find her butt.
  • Your mama so fat she fell into the Grand Canyon….and got stuck!
  • Your mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world.
  • Your mama so fat she wears an asteroid belt.
  • Your mama so fat her Passport photo says ‘Picture is continued overleaf’.
  • Your mama so fat she has TB … 2 bellys.
  • Your mama so fat she’s once, twice, three times a lady.
  • Your mama so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room.
  • Your mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
  • Your mama so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her…
  • Your mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
  • Your mama so fat when she wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
  • Your mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear “Caution! Wide Turn”.
  • Your mama so fat she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.